Grounded

As a pathway to presence

GROUNDED. After spending four months in Michigan this summer, I left feeling more grounded (and creative) than ever. I remember thinking about how to carry all of that with me back to New York, but I wanted to challenge myself to see how I felt after settling in for a while. I knew the change in pace, environment and lack of nature in a city that never seems to catch her breath could be jolting, but I also know what this place gives me and I was ready to embrace her again.

When I think about why I felt so grounded this summer, nature was very much a variable, but it was also more than that.

I was in a place I loved with family and friends. I was drinking less. I was walking slowly and often (too slow for some, but just right for me and without my phone). The only makeup I put on was mascara three times over four months. I got my nails done twice and haven’t again since being back. My phone was on airplane mode every evening and I’d often leave it inside during the days. I spent less, drove less, consumed less, stopped dying my hair (mainly because it was outrageously expensive), and was on social media less. Instead, I was doing what felt creative to me (writing, painting, puzzles, collaging), moving in a way that felt more intuitive, listening to what my body needed, and yes, being barefoot as often as I could.

But what that feeling of groundedness led me too was a sense of presence. I would enjoy three hour dinners with neighbors while I left my phone at the house or catch myself noticing that I wasn’t reaching for a quick distraction like I had before. I was able to pay more attention to the small details around me, not hurry everywhere I went, and embrace the people I was with.

And that is what has translated to being back in New York: how present I’ve felt all fall to the conversations and gatherings I’ve found myself in. I’ve been able to really give my attention to the people I am with — noticing what’s in front of me, around me, and enjoying those moments while I’m in them.

I know from my years here how easy it is to get thrown into the chaos of this city, and become overwhelmed by the noise and sheer madness of all that is Manhattan. I guess between cultivating presence this summer, and bringing awareness to what served me, I was able to stayed grounded within myself in a different environment this fall.

So what have I noticed that has grounded me here?

I’ve felt grounded in coming home to my sister every night in an apartment we love. I’ve noticed the trees just like I noticed them in Michigan, and I remind myself that trees exist exactly as they are, so I can exist exactly as I am. I’ve been naming and noting what I’m grateful for, touching grass on the West Side Highway, standing in the sun for an extra moment, giving myself time in the morning before checking my phone. I’ve been cooking seasonal meals with warm spices and darker colors, and continuing to engage in creative practices for the pure process of creating — not because anything grand came from it.

A list of fall feelings that have grounded me:

candles that make me feel nostalgic / a good chopping knife for all the veggies / when the tea is the perfect temperature on your first sip / the crisp air and tumbled leaves on the sidewalk / the way buildings have such character when you stop and look at them / a stylish vest / the sound of a cracking fire / eldest daughter by taylor swift on repeat / reading a book that moves you / sweatpants & sweatshirts on the couch / thinking of things i’m grateful for / fresh chocolate chip cookies with sea salt / noticing sunlight at different times of day / snuggling with others

I think we can always try to ground ourselves with nature, but when that isn’t available to us as much as we’d like, what do you notice brings you back to the present moment? Maybe try creating your own list of things that feeling grounding too.

I’ve surprised myself in how grounded I’ve felt being back here despite the stark contrast in nature, and lack of clarity around what my next job might be and when that will come. Yet, I’ve felt deeply grounded in knowing that I’ll find my way.

Book Recommendation:

The work Nicole Sachs outlines in Mind Your Body has done wonders for me! Nicole focuses on helping others release chronic pain and anxiety, and breaks down the brain science behind how our emotions (those we suppress, avoid, are afraid of etc.) can sometimes manifest as physical symptoms in our bodies. I began her daily journal practice known as JournalSpeak this summer, and not only has it been a grounding exercise, but I’ve continued it for over 100 days and it has truly made a difference for me. Find more on her work here. I also really like this podcast episode about it with The Wellness Process.